Effective communication skills are a must in any relationship. Good communication skills allows us to share our wants, needs, resolve conflict, and establish our boundaries with others. Here are 6 tips to improve communication in any relationship.
What is effective communication?
Communicating effectively is more than just speaking our truth. Effective communication encompasses understanding the emotions and intention of what’s being shared with us. As a result, both parties feel heard, understood, and progress can be made rather than talking in circles.
Developing good communication is a learned skill and it’s normal to have a bit of a learning curve. It takes time to truly get a hang of it so if you are working on improving your communication skills, don’t get discouraged. Through practicing these tips, you may discover that your relationship deepen with greater trust, teamwork, problem solving, and overall feeling happy and fulfilled.
As we work on improving our communication skills, we may still engage in some common communication blunders. These typically lead to misunderstandings, conflict, and in the worst cases can end some of our most meaningful relationships. If you want to learn more about communication mistakes we make click here. For now, we’ll focus on some strategies to help improve communication.
6 Tips To Improve Communication
Are you ready for better communication? Check out these 6 tips to improve communication in relationships.
Establish Healthy Patterns Early On
Establishing healthy communication early on in relationships helps set the tone for good communication patterns. This may help deepen our understanding of each other from the beginning. Setting boundaries, talk about what’s important to us, and clearing up any confusion or issues helps build a strong foundation. However, communication patterns can improve at any time! If you are finding yourself struggling with communication patterns you aren’t happy with, it can be helpful address this with the person and begin practicing new communication styles. We are always growing and have the ability to evolve and change our patterns within relationships over time. If you want to learn about additional qualities of a healthy relationship click here.
Active Listening
With active listening, we want to really hear and understand the other person’s thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we listen to respond, especially when we have a strong stance on something but this can deepen a divide between people where no one feels heard or understood. Try taking a deep breath, listening, and asking clarifying questions to better understand what the other person is saying. If you are tempted to interrupt and get your thoughts in, try to slow yourself down and refrain from interrupting. This will help you to not only understand the other person but also allow them to feel heard.
"I" Statements
Statements where we use “you” in it can lead someone to be on the defense and feel a need to become defensive in the conversation. There can be a tone of blame in these statements that don’t support effective communication. In contrast, using “I” statements improves our understanding of each others thoughts and feelings to promote growth and closeness. Saying “I feel _____ when ____ happens” rather than “You are so _____” has a completely different tone, which can help resolve issues that may come up. When we use “I” statements, we are fostering positive communication. If you want more tips on “I” statements check out this article.
Be Curious
Practice asking open ended questions. Asking these types of questions gives us more information so we can gain insight and understanding to. Curiosity can lead to understanding why certain actions and dynamics are occurring, which helps reduce some communication mistakes we tend to make. When we lack understanding, we may engage in mind reading, personalizing, jumping to conclusions, or catastrophizing a situation. However, curiosity provides us an opportunity to learn more about the person so we can put our defenses down and work towards coming to a resolution. Along with increasing our understand of others, this helps to deepen our connection and reduce continued misunderstandings.
Get Grounded
When we are in our emotions, we may say or do things that don’t align with our truth. Later, we may regret our actions but it can be hard to take things back after they have been said or done. Practice communicating when you aren’t in your emotions. Check in with yourself – are you feeling grounded or reactive in your emotions? Pausing can be a game changer. I am a big believer in being intentional with our words and actions. Depending on how elevated your emotions are at the time, think about what will serve you best in the moment to calm down. Going for a walk, doing guided meditation, journaling, giving yourself a day to calm down, or engaging in some other self-care activity can go a long way. Once you’re grounded, try to be intentional with how to proceed in a way you will feel good about later.
Speak Your Truth
Honoring what our truth is empowering and life changing. Over longer periods of time, if we aren’t expressing our likes, needs, wants, and dislikes in relationships we can build resentment and negative emotions in the relationship and with ourselves. Take time to reflect on your needs and if they are being shared and met. When two people come together, we have two different personalities, perspectives, and styles to how we function in life and relationships. Sharing our truths can help maintain relationships over time or provide feedback as to whether or not our needs are being met. This feedback is important to let us know if our relationships are working or not. Our strongest relationships will be with those who respect, value, and honor our needs.
Every relationship, whether it be romantic, family, friendship, or work, can benefit from having clear and healthy communication. Try practicing these 6 tips to improve communication in any relationship. It’s always helpful to work with someone to continue to gain insight on our own communication patterns and to get some guidance on how to improve communication if it’s feeling a bit tricky. If you want to learn more, I’m here to help!